Dick Cheney Totally Hates You

[LanternBearer]

Dick Cheney Totally Hates You



From The San Francisco Gate, 11/3/06:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...306.DTL&nl=fix

Dick Cheney Totally Hates You

That shirt?

Those shoes?

Your kids?

Hates 'em, and everything else about you, too.

Can you feel it?


By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist


That shirt you're wearing right now?

Chances are, Dick Cheney hates it.

That car you drive?

Thinks it's for whiny un-American pansies.

The fact that you've probably eaten tofu and wear designer shoes and
have actually had sex while standing up?

Pervert heathen traitor to the real America, Dick thinks.

He hates that.

Some days, Dick has trouble counting all the ways in which he hates
you, the world, life.

Some days, he hates the fact that there are not enough hours in the
day for him to count the ways in which he hates you and all you
probably stand for.

This makes him sad.

Which he also hates.

It is a question often asked these days:

Whence comes all this dark, dank feeling in America?

Why does all seem tainted and soiled and lost lo these past years?

When did simply being an American turn so dour and gray, like someone
poured gasoline into a big glass of Sunny Delight?

Here, I firmly believe, is a great portion of your answer.

It has become a national pastime, of sorts, listing all the things and
all the events and all types of people -- liberals journalists
prisoners suspects foreigners Democrats moderates animals
environmentalists trees pacifists 'Nam vets women clean air -- Dick
Cheney hates every single day.

Even Republicans are a little taken aback by the length of the list.

Recently, this dark pall has become even more evident.

Cheney's trademark hate spewed forth all over the media, like smoking
black roof tar, when he appeared Fox News and claimed that the insane,
increasing violence in Iraq between the Sunni and Shiite militias, the
groups who are now killing each other and killing U.S. soldiers and
causing havoc as a result of our failed invasion and failed puppet
government and failed foreign policy, these vicious militias are
killing even more right now because, well, because they read
DailyKos.com.

And also, Truthout.

And the New York Times.

And this very newspaper.

In other words, Dick Cheney believes these radicals read lots of
American liberal media and therefore understand that our midterm
elections are upon us and that almost every Republican warmongering
jackal is on the ropes, and if they increase their attacks it will
only make Republicans look even worse than they do all by themselves
-- which is, of course, already bad enough.

This is what Dick actually said.

Why is the Iraq war deteriorating so horribly?

Because Republicans are suffering.

And the terrorists have it in for the GOP because the GOP fights for
freedom and love and soft warm puppies, and terrorists hate that mushy
stuff!

This is what Dick wants Fox viewers to believe -- despite how, of
course, years of insane GOP warmongering have given the world's
terrorists everything they could've ever dreamed.

It's true.

The terrorists of the world, including Osama, would love nothing more
than 20 more years of Dick 'n' Dubya, if only to encourage more global
instability, to rile more foreign resentment against BushCo's
increasingly self-righteous, insular, vicious United States.

In other words, the terrorists love Dick.

He and Dub and the World's Worst Administration have made for the
greatest recruitment campaign in terrorist history.

And man, does Dick hate that.

Yes, Dick hates your understanding of these ideas, your automatic
recoil at his idiotic statements.

He hates the fact that you know, when he comes out in support of
torture and the "no-brainer" dunking of prisoners, that he's merely
kowtowing to the last remaining lowest-common-denominator voting bloc
of the GOP, the gun-totin' kill-'em'-all flyover-state fundamentalists
who are, in their way, little different than the Taliban.

He knows you know.

It doesn't matter.

Because he hates them, too.

"Dumbass vermin," he doubtlessly muttered, just under his breath, as
the Fox cameras clicked off.

Then he just chuckled.

In fact, it is very easy to go so far as to say that Dick Cheney hates
his own boss and president, George W. Bush.

Can you not tell?

Oh sure, Dick enjoys how tractable and malleable George is, how easily
Dick can get his own nasty agenda items across and how he is often
considered the "real" president, the most influential and draconian VP
of all time.

That makes him feel good, despite how good feelings are complete BS
and make him suspicious as hell, which he hates.

But deep down, Dick secretly hates the fact that George is such an
easily manipulable dink.

And if there's one thing Dick hates, it's dinks.

Now, you might say, I do not like all this talk of hate.

You might say, I do not like the fact that you talk about the vice
president as hating me, my life, everything I stand for, even the life
force itself.

It all sounds so very ... hateful.

This is understandable.

It is not a comfortable feeling.

It is not something in which anyone but Dick Cheney likes to wallow
for very long.

But it must be noted here, because perhaps more than any other single
human in recent history, Dick Cheney has brought the emotion of hate
into the forefront of our national consciousness.

He has made it our top agenda item, our most defining characteristic,
the thing which we let spread around us, like a cancer.

Karl Rove might've been BushCo's master architect, but Cheney provided
all the nails.

But now, the good news.

If Dick's hate of all things life-giving and positive and peaceful has
been, in fact, some sort of enormous cosmic test, the thing we had to
survive most, perhaps even more than Dubya's embarrassing,
inarticulate bumbling, then it appears we have succeeded.

Or rather, we're beginning to.

The GOP is down to its last stockpiles of bilious gunpowder.

The homophobia and the fearmongering now seem transparent and
childish.

The desperation is palpable and acrid.

The beast is slumping, slowly, meanly, angrily back to its cave.

What, then, happens to all that built-up hate?

What of that feeling that has, for so long, festered in the American
heart, planted there by Dick in the hopes that it would spread and
tumesce and keep us bitter and knee-jerk and reactive and controllable
for decades to come?

Well, perhaps now, with the crumbling of the pseudo-fascist GOP
empire, is when a bizarre transmogrification can occur.

Now is maybe when the switch can be flipped and the poles can reverse
and the hate actually implodes in on itself, burning us all clean.

Or, you know, a little less dirty, which, at this point, is a damn
good start.

In other words, maybe now is when we can once again begin to embrace
those things, those ideas and those candidates and those clothes and
those sexual positions and those nuances and those shoes and those
books and those institutions that lie in direct opposition to Dick
Hate.

It is, after all, a simple law of the universe:

The more you love the vibrant and defiant and independent-minded gobs
of this life, the more those things that are not those things will
simper and shiver and wail.

See?

It's already happening.

Look closer at that Fox footage.

Dick looks lost.

He looks deadened.

He looks, well, more than a little desperate.

And man, Dick really hates that.

Which is, of course, a very good sign indeed.

____________________________________________

Mark Morford, you've done it again.

Lantern Bearer

[01]

"What, then, happens to all that built-up hate?"

Private Military Companies

[LanternBearer]

I was going to whack your thread about sorghum in the fuel systems, you come along with a perfectly sound reply to my second string thread of the day - t'anks.

LB

Originally Posted by 01

"What, then, happens to all that built-up hate?"

Private Military Companies

[01]

"I was going to whack your thread about sorghum in the fuel systems..."

Shooting at bottles on a fence tells you a lot about the shooter. I'm figuring you thought why waste the ammo.



"..t'anks."

De nada. It's always civil to inform others about the real terrorism in the making.


A link in case you haven't already read it:

http://www.cornellpress.cornell.edu/...taf?ti_id=3990

[Six-String Ronin]

But he is so much more interesting than Al Gore or Dan Quayle were as VP.